Several months ago I found myself let go from yet another job for something about "my attitude." It seemed to me immediately that if this keeps being a reason for trouble, then maybe I should do something about it. Faced with limited choices, I bought a ticket through Greyhound from Connecticut back to Kansas and started therapy. While it isn't set in stone yet, (mostly because I keep dragging my feet by not going to the psychiatrist), it seems that I am bi-polar. I have uncontrollable mood swings - manic and depressive states - that I'm working to understand.
I arrived back in southeastern Kansas right in the middle of my mother's training for her first marathon. After she was done, I decided to go ahead and sign up through the same organization - Fleet Feet Sports - to train for a half marathon coming up on January 1st - New Year's Day - aptly named the Hangover Half. This last saturday, October 20th, those of us signed up ran a timed 3 miles to be placed in a training pace group. My only goal with this run was to finish in under 30 minutes. I did. Barely. My final time was 29:54 and I was placed in the group I hoped for. Last night I got an email from one of our head coaches that I was indeed in my sought after group, but that it was to follow the ADVANCED training schedule! There isn't a whole lot o difference between the "beginner" and the "advanced" groups. Beginners get two rest days, advanced get one. The farthest the beginner group with run before the goal race is 11 miles, but the farthest the advanced group will run is actually 14 miles!
So, with the exception of helping my brother move a few things out of his apartment yesterday on a day I was supposed to do an hour of cross-training (sure, I can count that... right?), my own schedule started today with an "easy 3 miles". I still ran my splits in under 11 minutes on average, and for the first time since I got back I ran the full 3 miles without stopping.
All that just to say, here's to another new beginning. I'm thankful that I have parents who will let me start over (yet again) with them. Hope is still here. Barely. I'm handling the depression moments better than I did in January, but they still come. Maybe I can get some endorphins going and stay level.