Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Ramblings on Practice and Stick-with-it-ness

When my mother was a child, she took lessons on guitar. Somehow she also took piano lessons, although at this point in life I think maybe I remember that fact incorrectly and she just figured out where enough notes were to help with guitar tuning. As an adult, she took up banjo. She also sings. My mother sang in choir for a very brief period when she was a teenager (I think), and when I was in Middle School she sang in the worship band for our sunday morning youth church. 

When my father was a little more singularly rigorous. He took piano lessons and trombone lessons. The piano didn't stick, (I learned on the same piano,) but the trombone did. My dad continued trombone in college before he dropped out, but also remained a prominent member of our church's sunday and special music ensemble. As I think about it, our church back then must have had every trombonist in the city counted among the members. We always had at least three trombones in all musical ensembles. That's a lot for church!


I started studying piano when I was nine years old. My paternal grandfather passed away, and we inherited my grandmother's piano. She had passed years earlier. I hated it. After one year of lessons, my father had his hours cut back at work. My family, including my two younger brothers, got by without my mother working up to this point. Our solution, instead of my mother working to cover the loss, was to cut back on unnecessary expenses - like unwanted piano lessons. My father's hours were reinstated after about a year. That next year, I was able to start in orchestra at school. It was no extra charge, the instrument was provided and lessons were not necessary since everyone in the orchestra was starting new and we met three days a week. I continued to play Viola in school with my rented instrument until I entered middle school. We decided since I was starting my third year, they would buy me my own instrument. That year, I was pulled out of public school so that my mother could teach me and my brothers at home. While she started the boys both at the start of the year, I attended public school until the end of the first quarter, sometime in November. Since I no longer had school orchestra, and since my brothers had both started piano lessons this time, we found a private viola teacher and I started piano lessons again.


That was a lot of explaining just so that I can share my feelings about starting and stopping lessons. My mother was allowed to stop lessons because she simply didn't want to go. She was shy. My father liked lessons. My mother liked playing, but not lessons. She regretted it. When I wanted to quit, the only reason I was granted that wish is because we didn't have the money. When we all started private lessons again, we were not so lucky. I ended up loving piano and hating viola. But really I just didn't get along with my viola teacher. Maybe I wasn't as good as I thought I was? Whatever the reason, I stormed out of lessons and finally wasn't made to go back. But the piano, on the other hand, well I loved that. Even in the two years that I didn't take lessons, I played. I read the lessons myself, and I played the music. Luckily, I have two musically inclined parents that would help me when I had questions; although, I don't recall ever asking! I stayed with piano. To the point where I would rather practice than do anything else. (I truly wish I still felt that way!) I chose not to study in college. Probably because I wasn't aware that was something I could do. I didn't know any adults who studied piano who were not professionals or striving to be professionals. But guess what I dropped out of college to do? Yeah, I dropped out to play piano. Go figure.


At this point in life, I'm thirty-seven years of age. I started my piano journey by hating it. The piano is my life partner. I take a break - never very long - and I sometimes pile so much on top of my piano that removing it is more of a chore than practicing, but I always play. I have always played. When I'm not studying, I'm still playing. I'm writing my own pop-folk songs, learning pop songs, working on musical theatre for fun, and now I'm starting to learn composition on my own just by using musical transcription software. 


I'm lucky to have parents who didn't want me to quit. But I'm also glad to have taken breaks, and to still know that I CAN take a break if I need to. Learning an instrument shouldn't be forced, but it does need to be nurtured. How do we know what is really in a child's head when they haven't practiced for three weeks? Maybe they're over it. Maybe their teacher said something that made them uncomfortable. Maybe we just need to learn to communicate with our students and children and teach them to do the same with us. Innocence is something we all need to keep in mind. But also remember that a gentle wind can still move a loose leaf just as far as a wild gust... maybe even farther than you imagined. 




Just my two cents!

Miss Lindsay Q.
 - The Machine

Images: 
1. Performing as 1/2 of Thelma & Theodore at the Mariana Kisler Beach Museum of Art at Kansas State Universtiy in Manhattan, KS
2. The Steinway Grand in Wiedemann Hall at Wichita State University in Wichita, KS
3. my POV of my current home instrument, a Casio Privia, with a partial view of Venetian Boat Song No. 1, Opus 19, No. 6 by Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy
4. my POV of a Yamaha upright in a WSU practice room as I prepare to conduct and accompany Handel for class
5. Performing at Weidemann Hall, WSU campus, for Convocation with chamber trio (Milhaud)
6. Performing as 1/2 of Thelma & Theodore at the Donut Whole in Wichita, KS

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Barking at the Moon

I wanted to blog today, but I wanted a soundtrack. At first I turned on my iTunes, then I decided to visit my old friend Last.fm. Let me tell ya, I'm sure glad I did. There's nothing quite like turning on a "radio station" (for lack of better term, which I'm sure is out there) and hearing one of the best songs ever.

The first time I heard Jenny Lewis's "Barking At The Moon" from the Bolt soundtrack I was sold. I had never seen the movie and had just moved back in with my parents. Needless to say, the song took on a deeply personal meaning.

Back when I was 21 I used the excuse that I was going to join a band and moved to Lafayette, LA. I knew when I committed to leaving Kansas that my excuse was a flimsy one at best, but I was determined to find some way out of Manhattan. Don't get me wrong, despite my ill feelings toward that town, I'll always remain a K-State fan. But I had to get out.

Of course when I got to Lafayette I realized that my original reason for going there (i.e. the band I was planning on joining) wasn't going to be in the city I chose EVER and I needed to figure something else out. No way was I going home. Especially after the first weekend I was there. Internets be damned, but thanks to a little site known as www.toldbyanidiot.com I had virtually met a few good people in Lafayette already who, as it turns out, were NOT crazy internet stalker serial killer people! Amazingly they invited me along to get togethers and shows upon my immediate arrival. They offered me places to live, food, music, jobs, livelihood. Throughout the 4 1/2 years I called Lafayette home I met some of the best people in the world in my opinion. Even those friends of friends who no longer lived in the city at the same time as I did, I now call friend. I was extremely lucky to have come across a place like that in my life. Nowhere else would I have been able to thrive and grow as I did.

Upon my dumbass decision to move back to, of all places, Manhattan, KS, I hit up some difficult times. Horrible people, horrible situations, double talking two faced lives. But the way I lived, the people I knew, the things I learned in Lafayette is what I had to fall back on. I knew I had to go forward and ended up back at my parent's farm. Away from everything. That's actually where I heard this song.

The song is about making anywhere you are your true home. Because home isn't a place. It's not a town, an apartment, a school. Home isn't physical. Home is spiritual. It is a feeling you can have. About yourself, about the people and things around you. Home is being comfortable no matter what the situation and knowing there is nothing that you can't handle. And on the occasion where you find there is something more difficult, the feeling of home is knowing you are strong enough to ask for help.

How can one person get all this from one single song? Well, it took a lot of soul searching throughout all these last 10 years. Plus a really amazing song writer with a great sounding voice.

So now I think I just might honestly be able to say, at 2 years south of 30, that I am indeed "home". Wherever that may be geographically.

LQM